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Contra Costa Times (MCT) Q: Is it disrespectful to the new wife to invite the ex-wife and her parents to family functions? When we have family functions the kids don't get to come when it's the ex-wife's visitation time. It's not fair to the kids who don't get to see their cousins, aunts and uncles. A: You won't hear us say it is disrespectful now; we celebrate all family functions together. But in the beginning things were kept quite separate and Jann would have been very put off if Sharyl was invited to family functions. It was about two or three years into the experiment that we all (Sharyl, Jann, and Jann's husband, who is Sharyl's ex-husband), made a concerted effort to co-parent the children and we began to celebrate together — at the prompting of the kids. Extended family was also invited. Those that lived nearby did attend. And, because Jann was in on the decision to celebrate in that manner, she did not see it as disrespectful. It's not uncommon for kids...
By Armin Brott McClatchy-Tribune News Service Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are planning to get pregnant in about a year. We hear a lot about what to do, health wise, during the pregnancy itself. But what about before? Are there things I should be doing to get my body ready? And are there things my husband should be doing? A: Yes on all counts. An unborn baby's organs start developing 17 to 56 days after conception. But that's so early that you might not even know you're pregnant yet. And by the time you find out, you may have already done all sorts of things that could affect the baby — things you may end up regretting. So it's good that you and your husband are preparing yourselves so far in advance. I'll talk about what you should be doing now, and we'll tackle your husband next week. Make an appointment with your doctor for a preconception physical. Expect him to evaluate any medications you're taking to see whether they're safe during pregnancy. He'll probably prescribe prenatal vitamins with folic...
By Wendy Donahue Chicago Tribune (MCT) Parent advice: This is such a serious topic, and I think teachers and educational leaders need to address this kind of behavior as the start of bullying. I think that most of the time, the ones doing the rejection are actually jealous of the other for their looks or intelligence, and this envy triggers the behavior. Usually the victim is sensitive and reacts, and therefore gives pleasure to the other child. What to do: role-play. Play out pretend situations and different options: ignoring the rejecter, looking around and sitting by someone else. Also, discuss why your child wants this friend in the first place. There must be others who could be selected. Different developmental stages require different strategies. If your child acts victimized, cries or has similar responses, you can bet that the behavior will continue, with the bully pulling in others. Contact the parents or schoolteacher if it continues or intensifies. But never ignore it. —Verna Schmidt If you have...
The Hartford Courant (MCT) Millions of children go off summer camps across the country during July and August, but it's not always fun in the sun. To keep your campers healthy and happy, follow these 10 suggestions from the American Camp Association, Dr. James Parker of Connecticut Children's Medical Center and Dr. Marie Vitale of Hartford Hospital: 1. Sun and Heat Protection: Protecting campers from sun damage is a priority. Children should apply adequate sunscreen to avoid sunburn and stay well hydrated to prevent heat exhaustion. The American Camp Association recommends sending your child to camp with sunscreen of at least SPF 30 and a reusable water-bottle. 2. Clothing: Dress children in multiple layers that they can shed as needed. Brimmed hats and close-toed shoes are also good ideas. 3. Insects: Educate yourself and your children on common local critters, and make sure the camp can treat simple insect bites, stings and adverse reactions. For day campers, check nightly for ticks hiding...
By Cailley Hammel Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, (MCT) Emily Clearwater, 7, says she isn't afraid of anything. Her mother, Jennifer Clearwater of Port Washington, Wis., would disagree. "I know something you're scared of that you're not admitting to. Insects," Jennifer said. "You're scared of bugs!" Emily sheepishly giggled in response and hid under her bright blond hair. As it turns out, Emily also is afraid of getting shots, the dark (but only "kind of") and getting lost (which is often the subject of her bad dreams). She isn't alone. All children have fears — it's a natural part of life. Overcoming them is a rite of passage and a sign that we're growing up. For advice on coping with common childhood fears, we spoke with pediatric psychologist Andrea Begotka and clinical psychologist Kathleen Longeway of Children's Hospital of Wisconsin. SEPARATION ANXIETY Why it's common: Begotka said this boils down to the attachment a child has to his or her parents. Longeway added that this fear can manifest itself in...
Chicago Tribune (MCT) How much structure does a half-day preschooler need in the summer in order to be ready for full-day kindergarten in the fall? Parent advice: Full-day kindergarten may depend on whether they need a nap or not. One of my daughters learned how to read by age 4. My neighbor asked me before kindergarten enrollment if I was going to have her placed in first grade — her older son, who was in second grade at the time, was embarrassed that she read better than he did. But she still needed a nap every afternoon and didn't get up until 8 a.m. By preschool age I enrolled my children in preschool programs according to their needs — meeting new friends, learning a skill, such as swimming, or a chance to be without their other siblings. One daughter could amuse herself, another wanted to be occupied, another wanted to be in charge. How (much structure is required for kindergarten) depends on the child. —Barb Matarrese The most important thing is building up her stamina for a full day. She will... 
(MCT) When my son was 4, I tried giving him nutritional supplements to make up for his appalling diet. I mixed fish oil into his orange juice. I let him eat candylike gummy multivitamins. And I stirred a chocolate powder containing 31 fruit and vegetable extracts into his milk. It eased my worries, but experts disagree on whether supplements do any good. "An appropriate diet should cover all needs," said Dr. Steven Daniels, a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics' committee on nutrition. Parents of picky eaters may be concerned, he said, but the worry "is often misplaced because kids are growing and developing normally." But how many kids eat an "appropriate" diet? Dr. Kathi Kemper, who chairs the holistic and integrative medicine department at the Wake Forest University School of Medicine, often recommends a multivitamin or fish oil which contains omega-3 fatty acids because "people have a funny idea what a healthy diet actually is," she said. Surveys show that 99 percent of... 
Have you ever found an old bottle of sunscreen in a drawer and figured, 'it should still be good, right?' Then a few hours later you take your sunglasses off and look in the mirror, and yikes! You got burned, literally! The molecular structure of sunscreen does break down over time, just as with other medications and creams. So how do you know when it is time to buy a new bottle? If you're lucky, the bottle will have an expiration date already printed on it somewhere. If not, here are a few general rules of thumb: * ohiohealth.com recommends you throw away the bottle after three years. When you purchase the bottle, write the date on it with permanent marker. Although there is no way for you to know how old it is on the shelf already, this will give you a general idea of how old it is. * If when you open the bottle, the lotion is discolored or has an odd smell, toss it, this may be a sign that is has started to break down. Remember, if youuse sunscreen often, you should not have a bottle for that long anyway....
Chicago Tribune (MCT) How do you get kids off the couch and away from computers, video games and TV? Parents' advice: I plan something for every day in the summer: a museum, the lake, a public pool, a walk through an interesting neighborhood, the skateboard park, a simple visit to the local park. As long as my kids play outside two to three hours a day and read for a bit and do a chore or two, I don't really care if they spend the rest of the day playing video games or watching TV. —Sharon Brinkman One of the hardest things for parents to understand is that kids need and actually want some structure. Sit the child down and say that you are setting up the summer rules and you want input. Tell him/her that the video games can be played for "x" amount of time each day and what time frame does he/she want to help set? Discuss options for what might be done at the other times, reminding that summer is a special time to do other free things that they can't do during the school year. —Verna Schmidt Use the barter... 
Chicago Tribune (MCT) Kelly Donlea bumped into a wee little problem not long after she had a baby and discovered the "meltdown hour." Soon as that babe was too big for Pablum in jars, Donlea realized that come 4 in the afternoon, she needed to figure out how to get dinner on the table. She did what any smart mama might do: She pummeled with questions anyone she ever bumped into. "OK, you've had to feed your children," she would begin. "How do you do it?" The answers were, um, hardly encouraging. "No one had a good answer," says Donlea, who grew up with a mom who put fresh-from-the-garden food on the table, night after night. "The whole meal-in-a-box. No, that's not gonna work for me. Nothing added up." So Donlea, once a financial writer and now the mother of three in Barrington, Ill., went on to solve the dinnertime problem. In fact, she wrote a book about it, "70 Meals, One Trip to the Store," self-publishing the skinny spiral-bound volume ($16, on her Web site, organizingdinner.com)....
The Orlando Sentinel (MCT) KNIGHT AND DAY Rating: PG-13 for sequences of action violence throughout, and brief strong language What it's about: Unsuspecting woman finds herself attracted to a spy who seems to kill an awful lot of people in the line of duty. The kid attractor factor: Slam-bang action without much blood; Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz at their toothiest Good lessons/bad lessons: Watch out for the guy who keeps "bumping" into you. Violence: Almost, but not quite, constant Language: A smidgen of profanity Sex: Quite chaste, despite the presence of Cameron Diaz in a bikini Drugs: Tranquilizers, mixed drinks Parents' advisory: I didn't count, but this movie has a "Die Hard"-sized body count, a little blood, but mostly killing without consequences. JONAH HEX Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, disturbing images and sexual content What it's about: A haunted Civil War vet searches for the man who killed his family and branded him in the face. The kid attractor factor: It'... 
By Deborah Netburn, Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES — On a recent Friday night, a very pregnant Sheila Dos Santos and her husband were two-thirds of the way through an hour and a half cloth diapering workshop, trying to wrap their heads around the myriad diapering options available to the modern parent. Laid out on the large coffee table in front of them were dozens of types of diapers and covers and inserts, as well as a plastic baby doll to try them on. "I'm so overwhelmed," said Dos Santos, looking down at the 11-page booklet she held in her hands. The workshop was being given by Lena Hill, Lisa Hubbard and Jennifer Rodriguez, three new-ish moms who opened Los Angeles' first cloth diapering store, Tush (www.tushdiapers.com), in early June. Dos Santos, who said she wants to use cloth diapers for environmental reasons, found the Tush women when she went on a local moms message board in search of advice on how to navigate the increasingly complicated world of cloth diapers. Just as it has with baby carriers,... 
The Orlando Sentinel (MCT) THE KARATE KID Rating: PG for bullying, martial-arts action violence and some mild language What it's about: Small boy moves to China, is bullied, learns Kung Fu from a master. The kid attractor factor: Everybody is Kung Fu fighting, including Jackie Chan. Good lessons/bad lessons: Martial arts can teach discipline, self-respect, respect for elders. And yet some students still turn into bullies. Violence: Quite a lot of it Language: Pretty mild profanity Sex: A smooch, here and there Drugs: None Parents' advisory: A kids' action film with mostly positive messages, suitable for pretty much everybody ------ THE A-TEAM Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence throughout, language and smoking What it's about: Swaggering, wise-cracking Army Rangers bust out of jail to kick butt and clear their names. The kid attractor factor: Hardcore action, or as hardcore as you can get in a PG-13 film Good lessons/bad lessons: "No matter how random things might appear, there... 
By Matt Campbell McClatchy Newspapers Messing with the hot dog is like messing with the American summer. We'll consume an estimated 7 billion dogs between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Call them weenies, call them franks or call them red hots. But should we call them dangerous? The American Academy of Pediatrics says so, because children can choke on them. Now an inventor says he has come up with a revolutionary idea for an improved hot dog design: Make incisions down the sides so that, as it heats, the dog will open into a floral-type design that will more easily break apart if stuck in the throat. "What we're trying to do is make a safer hot dog," said idea man Gene Gagliardi Jr. of Creativators LLC in Pennsylvania. Cindy Fauntz of Fairway, Kan., said she could see the benefit of the design not only for children but for older people. "It looks kind of weird, and I usually go for looks," Fauntz said upon being a shown a photo of the product while shopping at her neighborhood Hen House store. "I would probably...
By Heidi Stevens Chicago Tribune (MCT) People keep asking when you're going to have a second child. You're not. What's a good response? Parent advice: Perhaps make a joke. "When the first one can take care of it!" Or answer sincerely, "We're just enjoying watching (first child's name) grow up." —Amy Knife Gould Whenever anyone asked if I was planning a second child, I always answered with a smile, "No need. I got it right the first time!" —Leslie Abrahamson I get the question all the time. I just answer that I feel that my family is complete. If they push, then I feel they are deserving of a less mild-mannered response and answer according to the level of inappropriateness I am receiving from them. Responses could include that I want to be able to afford to send my child to school without incurring debt, bogging my child down with student loans, or asking the government for help; feeling slightly guilty and concerned about adding to a country with strained resources; wanting to have a career and not being...
Chicago Tribune (MCT) Reality is a tricky teaching tool when it comes to parenting. On the one hand, you want to shield your children from images and stories that will frighten them or cause them anxiety. On the other, you want to teach them perspective and knowledge about the world around them. If you want your child to have empathy, you can — and should — do both, experts say. "You don't feed a baby a steak," says Homa Sabet Tavangar, author of "Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be at Home in the World" (Ballantine Books). "You give them age-appropriate portions and the right consistency, but you do need to feed them." So it is with "feeding" them reality. When an earthquake struck Haiti in January, Tavangar pre-screened a photo slideshow on a newspaper Web site to show her 6-year-old. The images showed the ravaged island and survivors living in tents. "You want to humanize the dignity and strength of the people experiencing the disaster, so it's not just 'those people,'" she says....
By Debra-Lynn B. Hook (MCT) I have to keep reminding myself that my daughter's high school graduation is not about me. No matter that I spent four months overhauling house and garden for incoming family and planning a graduation party for 450 of her Facebook friends — half of whom won't attend, and what am I going to do with all that chicken. Nor is it important that I fielded all that high school angst, not to mention breast fed her, potty trained her, and held my hands out when there was no towel for her retching tummy that one Halloween when she was 2 and thought she could eat all her candy in one sitting. This is her moment. And to help me remember, I have compiled my "Top Ten Reminders For A Co-Dependent Mother Preparing For Her (Only) Daughter's Graduation from High School": 1. My daughter's high school graduation is all about her. This one bears chanting like a mantra. 2. Graduating from high school is a happy occasion. I will avoid sobbing on Emily's princess bed in the lavender bedroom she and...
On Thursday, June 10 from 8:30 to 11 a.m., Bingham Memorial Hospital will offer a free infant-toddler screening. The pediatric team at Bingham Memorial Hospital, along with community partners, will be hosting a developmental screening cinic for children ages birth to 3. This is a free child development screening that will include motor coordination, self-help, social skills, learning, growth, hearing, speech and language, feeding, and health. We also offer Spanish interpretation services during the screenings. Call Terra at 782-3733 to make an appointment, or sign-up online at www.MyFreeSeminar.org. This will be the last clinic for 2010. 
The Orlando Sentinel (MCT) MARMADUKE Rating: PG for some rude humor and language What it's about: Big, goofy, talking (to other dogs) Great Dane endures his teen years in So.Cal. The kid attractor factor: Big dog, small car. Big dog, small bubblebath. You get the picture. Good lessons/bad lessons: Sometimes you change to fit in, sometimes others should change to fit you. Violence: Canine slapstick Language: Doggie trash talk — "Who's lickin' butt now?" Sex: Flirtation Drugs: The dog and cat are tranquilized for a plane trip Parents' advisory: Utterly harmless, but probably too bland for anybody over 10 ——— GET HIM TO THE GREEK Rating: R for strong sexual content and drug use throughout, and pervasive language What it's about: A drunken, delusional has-been is escorted to a comeback concert by his biggest fan. The kid attractor factor: It has hints of "Superbad" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" in it. Good lessons/bad lessons: Choose your idols carefully, but they can still let you down. Violence: Not really<...
The Dallas Morning News (MCT) Emergency-room professionals have their own name for the long, lovely, lazy days that kids look forward to in summer: trauma season. Because that's when hospitals see a spike in drownings and heat-related accidents. Here are some of the biggest misconceptions about popular summertime activities, according to several experts. MYTH: Pool parties are safe as long as adults are around. FACT: Many drownings happen when adults are close by. The problem is too much commotion. The key is to have a designated adult watching the water because that is where the danger is. The pool should be free of excess toys that can block the view of the water. MYTH: You don't have to worry about sunburn on cloudy days. FACT: You can get a severe sunburn on a cloudy day. Overcast weather, no matter how cloudy, doesn't affect how much harmful UV exposure someone receives. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises using clothing and hats to avoid sun exposure, particularly for babies...
By Kristen Gerencher (MCT) SAN FRANCISCO — As summer approaches, so does the prime injury season for children. Parents have different ideas about how to keep their kids safe, but their assumptions don't always match up with some of the biggest known threats. "By far, the leading cause of death in children is injuries, and there's a lot we can do to prevent those injuries," said Garry Gardner, a pediatrician in Darien, Ill., and chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics' committee on injury, violence and poison prevention. "Injuries, in general, cause more deaths in kids over a year of age than the next seven leading causes of death combined." Parents shouldn't underestimate their role in keeping their kids out of harm's way, said Alfred Sacchetti, an emergency physician at Our Lady of Lourdes Medical Center in Camden, N.J. "You are the No. 1 safety feature that comes with your child." Here are some of the biggest safety risks for children during the summer and otherwise — and what you can do to... 
Protection with a price: Some question the safety of sunscreen products for kids SUNSCREEN TIPS Zinc oxide and titanium dioxide-based sunscreens that do not contain nanoparticles are generally thicker and whiter than those that do. Avoid nano-sprays or powders altogether, especially near the face, because the particles can be inhaled into the lungs, said Dr. Alan Greene, author of "Raising Baby Green." Once your baby is 6 months old, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends products with a rating of SPF 30 or more with a broad-spectrum sunscreen, or one that protects against both ultraviolet A and B rays. "Avoid products that combine bug repellent and sunscreen," said Dr. Michael Smith of Vanderbilt. Bug repellent isn't known to be safe for frequent application — but you do need to reapply sunscreen to avoid burn every 1 1/2 hours. And use enough: 3 teaspoons for an average toddler, 6 teaspoons for an 8-year-old, Smith said. Chicago Tribune Sunscreen can help prevent...
Chicago Tribune, (MCT) Your little ones aren't big huggers, which some family members take as a slight. Should you force your kids to show affection? Parent advice: I would suggest teaching them to shake hands. It's charming when little kids do it, and they may get over their reluctance to show affection to family. —Marie Grass Amenta Tell them to try doing a high-five or "knuckles" with family members so that they acknowledge them and know they're important to them. At the same time, just comment to your family that, "We're doing high-fives these days!" If you make it a big deal, then it will become one. —Julie Williams It sends a mixed message to children when we tell them not to let people touch them in ways that make them feel uncomfortable, but then we force them into physical contact with people they don't necessarily know or feel affection for. If I ever want to hug a child, I always ask, "May I hug you?" If the child shrinks away, I simply say, "That's OK. You never have to hug anyone unless you...
McClatchy-Tribune News Service (MCT) Q: My 16-month old daughter still wakes up at least three or four times every night. My husband and I take turns getting up with her but we're exhausted and fed-up. How can we get her to sleep through the night? A: Welcome to the wonderful nighttime world of toddlers, all of whom get up a few dozen times every night. Usually, they just look around and go right back to sleep — just like we adults do. Sometimes, though, they don't. When that happens, there are a lot of ways to get children back to sleep in the short term, and, long term, to get them to sleep for longer stretches at night. But the first step is to figure out why she's waking up so many times. Is she hungry, cold, or uncomfortable? Could she be in the midst of a developmental transition, such as teething or learning to run? Does she want to be rocked or cuddled? Is she adjusting to major changes in her life, like moving to a "big kid" bed or adjusting to life with a new sibling? At 16 months,...
Contra Costa Times (MCT) Q: I am 32, married with two children. My father remarried when I was 12. It was a difficult time and I am very grateful that my stepmom had the patience she did. It took me until my junior year in high school to realize she was not the awful person my mother said she was. (She was not the reason my parents divorced.) Mother's Day is hard. It's a day to acknowledge your mother, but if I want to make my mother happy I have to completely ignore a woman who has been very kind to me. How do I get around this? My Mother's Day dream is to have a nice lunch with my mother, my bonusmom, and my two children with enjoying everyone's company, but I have no idea how to initiate the idea. I think my mom will just lose it. A: What you're proposing is something you have to work toward all year round. So after this Mother's Day, that's when you might explain your feelings. Don't be surprised if Mom balks at the suggestion at first — it may take time for... |
